And of course, besides the cultural richness of London there were the shops!

I think each person has his own personal ‘map’of a city. My London has several pilgrimage points which I always visit, and some of them are shops.  But wait a second, I am going to go off on a tangent here. I recently heard of Jan Rothuizen’s Soft Atlas of Amsterdam. He mapped out Amsterdam this way, very personally, drawing his vision of the city. Unfortunately most of the sites for the book are in Dutch, but still, you can get an idea from the pictures. 

I kept a sketchbook a bit a la Keri Smith, while in London, but when I came back and heard about the Soft Atlas, I realize I’d done something similar.

So back to my regular consumer haunts in London:

Muji, I always go there for their gel pens, cheap origami paper and irresistable plastic containers of every size, from crate to pillbox. Plus it is one of the coolest stores I  know.

The Bead Shop in Covent Garden has long been my favorite destination to restock my rocailles. They have shelves  of them arranged by colour! I also bought 4 perfect ovals of African turquoise, dusky and mottled like a jungle river.

Just around the corner near the Seven Dials, is London Graphics Centre. This time I got silver and gold water based block print ink (Speedball) which I haven’t been able to find anywhere else.

Every day I passed by Hotel Chocolat, the kind of place where chocoholics like me think they’ve died and gone to Heaven. I only succumbed on the last day, I bought a slab of orange chilli bitter chocolate. But you could also have all sorts of ‘liquid chocolate’, and too many other exotic and gorgeous treats to mention. Go have a drool at the site.

And finally, good old Waterstones, the perfect place to browse  on a cold and rainy Sunday. I saw a book about Banksey there as well as one on Slinkachu’s Little People. And I had a nostalgic time leafing through a coffee table book about the heyday of Biba.

Also, the V&A’s shops are to die for.  I treated myself to some adorable ceramic buttons shaped in hearts, flowers, rounds, ovals and squares- I’m going to make jewelry out of them.  I held back from the beaded bracelets, little bags, necklaces, books, stunning fabrics, scarves, art supplies, and just plain Things-to-buy-just-to-have.

I stayed at a Youth Hostel while in London. In the evenings some of us would watch the X factor. It is good entertainment, but I grew to dislike it intensely.

One young guy, waiting to be eliminated(or kept on) was asked what it meant to him to stay.  He said,

‘Everything, this is the most important thing in my life’.

And later,

‘What I want more than anything is to be a pop star’. 

Ah, that’s it, the word ’star’;  here is the crux of what is wrong with this whole concept- his ambition isn’t to be as good a singer and performer as he can, but to be a Star. It is fame that calls these children. Did you know that they actually live at the X-factor quarters for weeks on end, getting coached in how to present themselves?  That’s how involved they get, that is how dedicated they are to this goal, which when they achieve it, most will find empty and excruciatingly lonely.

Lately, I’ve been enjoying the music of John Mayer. I like him because he is intelligent, he has something to say which matters to him, he’s an ace guitar player, and let’s face it he’s sexy as hell.

He is, 1 a human being with depth and character. 2 A skilled musician on a number of levels. 3 An interesting person with independent views, and 4. A talented poet and songwriter.

Compare this to your average X-factor finalist who maybe can sing, and has learned how to ape the moves of more succcessful stars.  What else is there?

What a dumb goal our society encourages these easily influenced teenagers to quest after. How many of the winners have anything inside themselves to sustain them for more than the first half year of hype?  Don’t they know you have to be a whole and at least somewhat developed person first before you can express something worth listening to?

John Mayer, for example, already has the X-factor- but it in him it is a combination of talent, intelligence, skill, dedication, luck and inborn charisma. 

 He, at least, will be around for a lot more years, maturing and deepening, and just getting better. I look forward to it.

I’m back from a 9 day trip to London. It was primarily a family visit, but I enjoyed being a tourist in the city where I spent many childhood summers. Later, when my mom moved there, I’d visit 2-3 times a year until she died.

The cultural highlights of my time there were: the Tate Modern, housed in an old power station on the  Thames: 4 of  Emily Young’s  angel heads, mounted on pillars outside of St.Paul’s cathedral; the Royal College of Music Museum of Old instruments; and the Victoria & Albert Museum.

The Tate is everything a contemporary art museum/gallery should be: exciting, full  but not crowded, educational, provocative, fun, aesthetic, engaged/engaging, challenging visually and conceptually, in short- an experience. Everywhere were clusters of school aged kids  sitting talking, looking, involved. There were interactive stations placed on each floor; and the free exhibitions were arranged in novel ways, juxtaposing different artists to help make certain connections one wouldn’t have thought of at first.

Emily’s sculptures slayed me as usual, and I stood in the middle of the large square outside St.Paul’s, communing with them the best way I know how- by drawing them.  It was an amazing interlude in the middle of busy noisy London to bask in the eternal stillness that these sculptures radiate- I can still feel it. If you read her statement on her site, you’ll see that she is very conscious of this aspect of her work.

I’m not a museum person, but the V&A was so constantly recommended that I finally just went. It is anything but stuffy, musty old things. It, too, is a vibrant space, almost holy, enshrining and keeping alive craft, contemporary as well as historical, at its highest expression. Out of curiosity I visited the jewelry halls and it was literally dazzling- the most exquisite necklaces, earrings, rings, crowns and gems were displayed against a backdrop of black velvet in lit cases within a dimly lit  hall, beautifully arranged in a gallery with a  plexiglass spiral staircase in its middle. 

I also loved the Chinese and Japanese galleries, dark and mysterious with perfectly placed simple forms of ancient pots, jade circles, knives, and other artifacts subtly lit in glass cases.

The building itself is a wonder, high arching ceilings, stained glass, ceramic staircases encrusted with gold and mosaics and reliefs and sculptures, and inscribed stone. It was like being in a wonderland with new sights at every turn. I went back twice, and would have returned more if there’d been more time.

At work during yesterday’s Personal Creativity Workshop

We had 17 enthusiastic women who came with open hearts and minds, you couldn’t have wished for a better group.

The main concepts were Exploration, Creating and Reflection. Most exciting for me was to see people take risks and really move.

The simplest exercise surprised me the most. We took one material to explore, in this case, crêpe paper. The assignment was not to ‘make’ a product, but to see what the material could do. First it was torn, folded, twisted into threads, knotted, cupped, stretched. From there we worked with connection methods like sewing, glueing, tying, taping etc. And finally the brief was to combine two elements into one object, say a twisted rope with a bunched up wad.

Each table then got to choose the best objects and combine them into an exhibition for the rest of us. They were to find a uniting theme in the objects, name the exhibition and make an invitation for everyone. 

This group’s exhibit was mounted on the wall and called, ‘Freedom’.

Like me, many of the participants were moved by the cooperation and exchange of ideas and inspiration such a simple concept could lead to.

We happily went to enjoy the delicious lunch cooked and catered by the organisers Aafke and Martine.

Afterwards, we made leporello( accordion) books and simple pamphlet bound books. Here are some of the results.

I had a wonderful day watching people get inspired by the materials and each other.

In designing this day, I drew a lot of inspiration from Keri Smith’s approach to playing with materials without having expectations or valuing the outcome. For many, the underpinnings of this approach; valuing mistakes and surprises, starting with what you have, paying attention to details in the environment, using the imagination and documenting your findings, were very different to the usual art class approach, ie, learn how to do something then make an aesthetically pleasing ’good’ product with that technique.

Thanks to everyone, Baukje for your beautiful studio to work in, and the organisers and participants for making it a rewarding and fun day!

For 2 months, this harpsichord (spinnet virginal, replica of a 17th century instrument) has lived on my work table while I painted the sound board. Normally this isn’t a problem, but recently I’ve had several commissions coming in at once, and I’ve been going crazy.  In the studio I also have a light table and another drawing board, but they were taken up with office and drafting work, so all the other projects  got spread out on the floor or the bed.

I am organising a workshop, and I’ve literally felt that I couldn’t think straight with all the clutter around, and without a clear area to just spread things out to look at.

Well, it all changed this morning. The instrument was picked up at 11:00 AM and I have Space.

Space, I just sit there looking at what seems to be endless acres of fresh, virgin potential.  I fantasize spreading out all my workshop plans on that empty white table, being able to see for the first time the structure of the day and how the exercises lead into each other.  After that is cleared up then I can draw, cut and assemble my craft kits, (soon to be available through my webshop). Oh what a luxury to have everything at hand, all on one table, and pile and stack things according to progress made. And to see in a glimpse what has been done and what still needs doing.

Having my table back has shown me how much my well being and ability to think and organise are dependent on space, space to move and space to think.

 The Dutch have a saying,’ A clean house, a clean spirit’.  That’s sure how it feels today.

Recently I read an article about a young mother raising two children while working on her dissertation. As an aside she said, ‘Yes I still work 2 days a week  so I have something to say when people ask me what I do’.

That got me thinking about how deeply identified this society is with roles and status. The next day, someone asked me quite innocently at an artist’s gathering, ‘What are you?’  Meaning: artist, poet, musician, etc.  In the context of the above, I resented having to put myself in a box in order to be able to have a discussion with someone. Anyway, I don’t know ‘what’ I am yet, I’m only 59 and haven’t decided what I’m going to be when I grow up.

I told him that I didn’t want to answer the question and asked him instead,’What are you really excited about at this point in your life?’ And lo and behold we had a perfectly pleasant and inspiring discussion about the ‘new art’, basically all the things I”m also interested in, edgy art being made in homes on the streets and in the margins.

And all this without ever once mentioning ‘what we do’.

My heart often falls when people ask me to respond to ‘What do you do’?’. It limits the discussion right away.  And it makes me wonder why we feel so insecure  when we don’t have a conventionally accepted answer to that question. Have we accepted so completely that our sole value is in what we do? Is that our only basis for establishing a context to talk with new people?

I think I’d rather be asked what excites me, what inspires me, what issue am I wrestling with at the moment, what progress have I made in realizing some of my goals, what  are some of the nicest moments I’ve had with friends lately, in what areas of my life  do I feel connected and passionate, etc.

I have been given the privilege of being able to give a workshop I’ve been dreaming of for years. It is a mix of enchantment, making objects of personal power, using art techniques to create meaning and healing in one’s life, creating room for creative wishes and dreams, and just plain having fun with wonderful materials.   This is the place I feel the most connected and useful and inspired.

I wish I had the words to express what art and creativity mean in my life, and how much it means to me to share this.  For years I wanted to go into the healing professions, but it never felt entirely right to have to choose between that and my art. And now, approaching 60, I see they are not at all separated.

Many times in this blog I’ve been trying to express what it is about the new subcultures in art that inspires me in the way conventional channels for making and selling art don’t.    Tonight I received the latest Art Healing Network Newsletter with their 2009 awards. The approach to art as a transformative  and healing tool is perfectly expressed in this year’s winners. Here is a link to Richard Lang and Judith Selby Lang, two of the award winners.  What they are doing, their sensibilities, their stature as artists and  aesthetic quality perfectly express what it is about the new art that so entirely captures my imagination.

I am just so grateful that my life seems to be opening out into ways to share this way of seeing with others and participate in my own way in this holistic and engaged art.

We have a beautiful modern library in Groningen (NL). The extensive English novel collection has sustained me in my 24 years here.

Reading occupies a large place in Rende’s and my lives, partly because we don’t have a TV.

Every week I go to the Groningen library and search for new books. I walk through the stacked shelves talking to the authors of each book that I pull out. I say, ‘Matter! Write something that matters to you so it can matter to me’. 

I get attracted to titles and colours and covers, but 99% of the books I pull out, I put back. It is such a gamble, spending 200 or more pages with someone, in their head, in the world they have created. Where will they take you? To old grudges of theirs revisited? To a vision of hopelessness? or to a new world of hope and magic.

I’m looking for light and meaning…. and love. And Anne Michaels writes because she cares. What matters to her is the world,  so intensely, it edges on pain:

‘on a table graced with stillness and smells, the wild order of plums’.

 Flat on my back, I dug a hole in the sky. I inhaled the sea until I was light-headed, and floated above the island.
Alone, in space, I imagined the Antarctic auroras, billowing designs of celestial calligraphy, our small portion of the sky like the corner of an illuminated manuscript’.

‘On Zakynthos I tended a garden of lemon balm and basil in a square of light on the floor.’

These quotes are from Fugitive Pieces.

I’m reading Winter Vault  now.  I hesitate to quote from it. All I can say is that each word is charged with meaning and purpose. The language is so beautiful, the sensibilities intense and eloquent. Reading it is like praying.

ok one tiny quote:

‘ Avery leaned overboard, dipped his teacup into the river, then set the circle of water next to him’.

The books I love most leave me in a state of constant gratitude;  thank you Anne Michaels for this,  ’a circle of water’.

I was thinking of the overuse of Obama’s campaign slogan; I just saw it as a heading on an article about creativity. It is , like the happy face, starting to get tiresome.

But no matter what anyone says about this man, he has done something miraculous, he’s rekindled hope.

So many of us, and not just my generation (babyboomer) have been hurt by life and have become cynical.  I was 13 when JFK was shot. My youth was also shadowed by the assasinations of Bobby and Martin Luther King.  And later, much later, like us all, I witnessed the horror of planes intentionally slamming into downtown New York’s buildings.

We’ve had our hopes dashed again and again by corrupted politicians. All of us have wanted to believe in a better world; I left my secure life and good career in the states to spend 6 years living in an international spiritual community, so high was my idealism. Especially my generation of idealists and new agers sincerely believed we could make a difference. ‘Yes we could’. And of course we’ve been disillusioned.

I have somehow found my way back to my early openhearted beliefs in an ensoulled caring world, albeit older and wiser. Granted,  I daren’t believe too much, too hard, too openly, that Obama is who he seems to be. But as he says, he is not going to save anyone, we all have to do it together.

One first step is to start daring to believe again and dropping our protective cynicism.

And I find that creativity is often the means to become engaged again, hopeful, playful and connected to the things that really matter.

LATER: I loved this synchronicity, a friend just mailed me this link to a speech Paul Hawken gave to University of Portland 2009 graduation class.  It is every bit as good as any Ted talk. I know Paul from my Findhorn days and he walks his talk.

Continued from Eric Maisel’s The van Gogh Blues 1

If I were asked to single out the one most important piece of advice in this book, it would be that creatives need to take action in service of their creative work.

Anxiety and indecision keep us procrastinating when we could act. Maisel says that if on a day we take one tiny step toward a creative project, then we can count that day as successful.

He emphasizes how we have to do this even when we don’t feel like it!! ( A big one for me). In my own experience, just showing up at the page, or the harpsichord, or the computer even when I feel dull and empty of inspiration, almost always helps.  Maisel says that taking an action, no matter how small, is the one most proactive healing thing we can do for ourselves. And that it will protect us from falling into a downward spiral that can end in depression and creative paralysis.

He also suggests that we know very well when we are procrastinating/just keeping busy, and when we are doing something in service of our art. For example, clearing out old files can be a way to waste time, or it can be the preparation for a new creative cycle. Only you know which one you are engaged in.

Paraphrasing from the book:

You have to risk unleashing your passion even with the possibility you will be disappointed. Creative people can’t resign themselves to postmodern meaninglessness. They always come back to the belief that a meaningful life can be led and they are obliged to at least try.

You decide every day to matter. You decide every day to live authentically, reckon with the facts of existence, and doing so your  truth becomes more eloquent.

Creating, as a life’s commitment, is hard; it is your heroic work. 

When we are not true to ourselves we suffer.
When we are true to ourselves we suffer.

I do my creative work anyway.